Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
