Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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