im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
