He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
