remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
you never un-have a 4some
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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