Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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