there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
