so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
