I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
