What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Randomize
