it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
We left an ass print on the piano.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
