Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
