i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
