Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
