Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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