I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
time to smoke my breakfast
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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