I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize