the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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