We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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