the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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