rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
