So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
