..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
