FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
