fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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