Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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