please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
