Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
