she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It's blow job season.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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