I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
