i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
When are your genitals available?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
