Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
