I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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