Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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