So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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