so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
