I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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