He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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