carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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