NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Randomize
