WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
