please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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