I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Randomize
