the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize