Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize