In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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