i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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