Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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