Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
