let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
