When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
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