good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
