I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize