He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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