508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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