its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
