I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
