physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
