Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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