She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
