dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
