The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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