apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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